When The Store Closes, LEAVE!!!

Of all the annoying-as-hell things you idiot customers can do at a store, sticking around and continuing to shop AFTER THE STORE HAS CLOSED ranks near the top of the YOU-ARE-AN-ASSHOLE list.  PAY ATTENTION to the "Hours of Operation" on the front of the building you walked into, you illiterate ass pirate.  As a retail employee, we can't go home til every last one of you fools LEAVES! So GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!! What on earth are you doing shopping around at 9 or 10 on a Friday night?! You are so seriously pathetic that you have nowhere else to be but in a big box retail store?  WE employees have something to do and somewhere much better to be, and the LAST thing we want to be doing is waiting for you to GET OUT.  Have I been clear about this?  I don't know how many other ways I can say it, but you babbling, brain-dead, no-life, LOSERS probably still won't get the message.

Here's an interview I conducted with a no-life loser that frequently wanders around an office supply store after closing time:

ME: So, can you describe to me in mere English words the extent to which what a complete asshole and loser you are?
No-Life Loser: Actually I can't, since I'm one of those who refuse to leave when a store closes, it can be assumed that I have about a 70 word vocabulary.
ME: Well that's not really surprising.  Is there anything else you are in the habit of doing that annoys the shit out of normal people?
No-Life Loser: Wow that's a broad question.  Do we have time for this? Ok, well I never use my turn signal, I tailgate like crazy at 70 mph while blaring rap "music", I smoke and blow it in people's faces, I talk REALLY loud on my cell phone while holding up the line at the grocery store, and naturally I import chinchillas and baby seals so I can slaughter them in my basement for amusement.
ME: Dear GOD, they gave you a driver's license?!?!?

So get a damn hobby! Learn to read and then find a big book! After that, get yourself a FaceBook page so you can share my blog with your idiot friends so that they might learn something.

LEAVE!!!  GO HOME!!