Retarded Retail: The Always Famous and Unpopular Ass Kisser

So I suppose every company has at least one token shit-talker that works hard at trying to seal their lips around the rotten asshole of the senior manager(s). These lowlife cocksuckers work hard at NOT working by weaseling themselves into the lower intestines of their supervisors and therefore help direct the negative finger-pointing towards people who are actually busy getting shit done. At MY store, one of the few butt-suckers is in his late 50's but has the mind of a 6-year-old girl who has been fed drops of LSD since birth, and this royal douche feels the need to tattle-tale on anyone HE thinks is not doing what they should do whether it is any of his business or not. Now if YOU reading this are one of those types, I have an experimental cure for your condition:

1) Withdraw all your money from the bank.
2) Find a seamstress.
3) Find an angry rhinoceros or hippo that eats way to much.
4) Since you like kissing ass so much, give all your money to the seamstress to permanently sew your lips around the asshole of the wild beast you found, until the creature's shit has entirely filled up every pore, crevice and cavity within your body.

OR, if that is too difficult for your brown eye seeking brain to handle, try reenacting the movie 'The Human Centipede' with your obese wife and 13 children. Here's a diagram:

Congratulations fucktard, YOU have earned the prestigious 'super-bitch-that-never-grew-up-award'! On the food chain you fall somewhere between donkey droppings and mosquitoes, and are dumber than both. Here's how a typical conversation between SBTNGU (super bitch that never grew up) and the store manager goes:

SBTNGU: Waahhhh!!! WAAHHH!!!!! MOMMY!!!
Manager: I see, I see. And tell me how great and wonderful I am again please.
(this repeats several times)

This cock gobbler thinks so highly of himself I bet he lays in bed with his dipshit of a cow-wife and says, "You are such a lucky woman to get to lay next to the department head of a retail store. You should cherish these moments because I'll soon (hopefully - ed.) be dead from sucking in 50+ years of shit to get to where I am today."
Obviously 'pathetic' is the first word that comes to mind. Yep, Mr. SBTNGU is sure proud of himself for finally kissing enough ass that he now can be in charge of 8 people. Wow, pretty impressive there pal. Would you like a throne and a crown to wear at work while you're busy being a worthless bag of vomit?
Fuck You.