I'd like to pretend to help you but you're an asshat.....

Like most retail employees I am forced to greet every idiot that passes through the doors. Usually the responses range from "I'm fine. How are you?" to a nod or some amount of retard babble that I don't care about. Then there are the self righteous pricks that completely ignore the fact that I took time out of my day to acknowledge them. Here's some scenarios:

A. I am walking down an aisle and Asshat is walking towards me.

Me: "Hello kind sir. How may I assist you on such a glorious day?"

Asshat: ( Looks directly at me and continues walking like nothing happened )

B. Dick Face is staring at some products that I unfortunately have extensive knowledge in.

Me: ( I approach the idiot and stand two feet in front of him ) "How are you today? What would you like to know about the objects you are fixated on?"

Dick Face: ( Continues to stare at products and fails to recognize that I have initiated a social interaction )

FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!!!!!

At this point I leave the asshat to himself and continue doing my shitty job. No more than five minutes later the same fucking retard is now approaching me or another employee and asking to please assist them because they have been waiting for help longer than any living being could possibly tolerate. I wish I could fucking stab this dickless fuck with my corporate approved safety box cutter until his blackened heart stops pumping the cold feces that allows this shit head to continue living. IF YOU WANT FUCKING HELP TAKE IT WHEN IT IS OFFERED. I am not here to wait on you until your brain has conjured up one or two of the seven words you know. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO SAY HELLO OR EVEN FUCKING NOD. You're a worthless piece of rat shit, please put a plastic bag over your head and breathe deep!!!!