Sunday, February 13, 2011

Don't Come Here Looking for a Friend

Some jackass customers come into the store, and all they want to do is shoot the breeze.  Really? Because I don't want to talk to you and hear stories about your children or your favorite brand of adult diapers.  It's a retail store.  THAT means that you come here, buy what you need, and leave.  That's all.  Retail employees are not marriage counselors, we are not product engineers that designed every item the store carries, we are most definitely NOT your friend.  I hear stuff from customers DAILY that I wouldn't tell to family or people that I've known for years.  Some of these lonely fucks will ramble on and on about the stupidest things imaginable.  Just the other day some creepy dude that was in more desperate need of a haircut than Chewbaca wasted 25 minutes of my time telling me about some shit that got stolen out of his garage last week.

I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!!

Got it?  No, you don't "got it," because it would require you to have powers of comprehension and reasoning beyond that of a mushroom.  Another tiny-dicked retard customer spent FOREVER telling me about how ashamed he is of his son who ran off to Japan with some slut etc etc etc.  WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU TELL STRANGERS SUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION?!?!

Freakin' bizarre weirdos.

I'm gonna ask the next half-wit customer that wastes my time telling me about his adventures in breeding hamsters all about his bank accounts and credit card information.  If he's willing to tell me about every private detail of his life, why not his financial info?  THEN, I'm going to take out all his money, and spend it on psychiatrists so he has someone to bullshit with instead of a retail employee.

1 comment:

  1. This is the funniest and most astute blog I have ever read. I've worked retail for over 20 years and you guys are right on the money! I get a good laugh every time I visit. Keep it up. Thanks!

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