Thursday, March 31, 2011

If You Don't Need It, DON'T BUY IT! Jackass Customers.....

First of all, the poll is now closed for profession with the most assholes.  'Politicians' is the clear winner! I'd personally like to send a big THANK YOU out to all of America's crooks, thieves, liars, bought-and-paid-for-corporate-puppets (aka: "our" elected [through fraud] public servants) for being such COMPLETE A-HOLES!!!  And a Sincere thank you to everyone who voted on the poll.

ANYWAYS! People return the weirdest junk in the most bizarre conditions.  Some worthless waste of skin brought a shovel to the return desk he had bought months ago, and he wanted to exchange it for a new one.   This shovel looked like it had been through hell and back, it was all bent up, caked in filth and mud and varying brown substances, just like the guy returning it.  Well our return policy (printed on every single receipt) doesn't allow for such nonsense; this bastard got his money's worth on the shovel and he needed to go away.  He didn't.  He whined and cried like a baby with overflowing diapers saying the shovel had a 10 year warranty or some such bullshit.  If that's the case, CALL THE DAMN COMPANY THAT MADE THE SHOVEL, IDIOT!!!  On hundreds of products in the store, the manufacturer has included on their product bright lettering that tells the moron consumers to NOT return product to the store!  There is a number to call.

One of the best cases of super retardation was when a jackass returned a set of screwdrivers.  One of the screwdrivers was bent.  Now, first of all it should be known that SCREWDRIVERS are meant to DRIVE SCREWS and NOTHING ELSE!  This asshole told the brain-dead cashier that the screwdrivers "did not work well as chisels."  CHISELS!!  So of course we took it back and gave this waste of life his money back.  Insanity. 

I should go to a car lot, buy a big truck, set it in gear so it drives itself off a cliff, then get it towed back to the dealership in a jumbled mess and demand my money back because it didn't work well as a hang-glider.

If you don't need the product, DON'T BUY IT!!  Don't buy 40 huge cement blocks if you only need 5!! Do you asshat morons realize what a pain in the ass it is to put all that crap back on the shelf??  Fuck You.  You buy it, YOU keep it.

Would You Bastards Buy These Two Hot Chicks From the Whore House, Then Return Them Because They Didn't Work Well As LAWNMOWERS?!?  Probably - MORONS.


  1. Recently we discovered, at the Party City where I work, that someone had (successfully!) returned a package of wedding invitations. Thing is, they returned it with well over half of the invitations FILLED OUT. I guess the wedding was canceled? Fucking bitch-ass retarded assholes!

  2. You must have a hard life. Some people are really stupid. I know that. But what you wrote

  3. This one old bitch returned a fully grown cactus she bought.... Caint be from our store cuz we don't sell them (we a grocery store). This shit was double-wrapped in fucking garbage bags that were dirty as hell since the whole plant smelled like the shit went to hell underneath Hell. God awful musty smell. She claimed to buy that shit four years ago at our store so of course she got her money back :)

    Fed up with lack of raises or even managers who give a shit, I started to exploit our return policy. I recently returned used toothbrushes cuz the brissles kept on fallin out. Fuck.