Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Word "Exit" Has a Meaning!!!

This is yet another discussion regarding the insanity of illiteracy.  Why can't people read? Maybe there is some magical, invisible field surrounding all retail establishments, and as soon as someone passes through it...... "BAM!!!" - Their IQ takes an immediate 50% drop.  Within seconds of passing through this force field, the ability to reason or think logically vanishes, and within a few more seconds the shopper is rendered completely incapable of reading!!  That's the best theory I have come up with so far, but if you readers have a better one then Please Share!

I mean, people simply can't be SO RETARDED all day long can they??  Considering the complete lack of brain activity that customers exhibit in the store, it would then be logical to assume they could never leave the parking lot because they would have no idea how to turn their car on.  They would hop around like monkeys slapping at their vehicle expecting to get lucky and get the engine running! 
But wait, on second thought I HAVE seen lingering Obama bumper stickers on cars!  Even NEW stickers!!!  Now as we all know, anyone who put an Obama sticker on their car during the election campaign is a complete FREAKIN' IDIOT.  Now IF those same morons DIDN'T realize their painfully obvious error and remove that sticker within the first 2 months of Obama presidency......they should give themselves a pat on the back for becoming a member of the most selective groups in existence:  MOST RETARDED DUMB SHITS IN THE UNIVERSE.  My point here is that these dipshits still manage to turn their car on.  A Miracle!  A great mystery for the ages!

So back to the main point.  Every store in the US has multiple signs showing where the exits are (by law), and most have signs showing where the exit ISN'T.  Every single day several asshat customers walk up to the door with GIANT, BRIGHT letters on it that spell, "NO EXIT."  They walk up all confused like a politician in a church and assume that the door displaying "NO EXIT" must be broken.....  Usually they have to be redirected to the EXIT doors which ALSO have giant letters that CLEARLY explain where they are.

What the hell, people?!?  LEARN TO READ, IT COMES IN HANDY!!

By the way, "Politicians" is leading the way in my poll of which profession is MOST full of assholes!


  1. LOL! This shit is so true. I bet customers that read this don't have a clue how dumb they are. Where's the bathroom? Right below that giant sign that says BATHROOMS!!!

  2. lol I am asked that daily. Or where is this item that I am to stupid to see 5 feet in front of my face.

  3. Oh Dave, why are you so angry? I don't remember you always being like this. I think you need to leave retail...